Graduation is in less than 6 weeks. There are so many emotions in my head and heart, and I'm not even sure I could label them with formal language. I feel... uh...er... smiles....tears... scared? It's an odd feeling to be at a place in life where you would not want to be anywhere else while all the while wondering if you're doing enough to ensure you don't stay in the same place because you were too lazy to make things happen for yourself...
I graduate with an Elementary Education degree, certified to teach children of MANY ages. I would say I'm extremely qualified: a hard worker with a passion for teaching children not just in whole groups but as individual people. While my recently updated resume comes complete with fancy indentations, bolded words, and portrays me as a professional, employable teacher... what I really want my resume to say is "PLEASE HIRE ME. I WON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF IN THE FALL IF NO ONE HIRES ME." But that sounds desperate... and overwhelming... but right now I feel desperate and overwhelmed.
The hardest part about this season I'm in is that at the end of the day, me giving everything I have and crossing things off a job-search "to-do list" does not immediately move me any further forward. Here is where I am. 6 weeks from graduation, believing there is favor for me in the land of Texas education where budget cuts are up in the millions. Here is where I am.
And the second hardest part about this season is the letting go part. Letting go and letting God. Cheesy but genuine. Cliche but reality. What if letting go doesn't land me a job in the fall? What if letting go doesn't look quite like I expect it to? Oh well. I did my part.
The reality is that God is bigger, than any circumstance. But the other reality is that school districts are firing teachers, on hiring freezes, and education administrators are wondering how they will educate America's future leaders when America's current leaders aren't valuing its future leaders.
BUT God is bigger. And here is where I am right now... here is where I am.
I can relate, I felt similarly when our academy was graduating back in December, in the end it took awhile but I did finally realize that I am where God wants me to be and slowly I have come to realize it is also where I want and need to be.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck in the final six weeks and congratulations.
Respectfully,
Jonathan
May God be merciful and bless you.
ReplyDeleteMay his face smile with favor on you.
Psalm 67
Love you girl:)
Kristy Lee